you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
