Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I think i got beer on your cat.
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