Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
