i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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