I can tuck mytits in my pants
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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