Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
