You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
