Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What drink are we having for lunch?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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