Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
