taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
