I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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