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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
