So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
