Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Houston, we have a squirter
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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