do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
