And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He? As in you personified your dick?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
