Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Randomize
