i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
