Wow word travels fast.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
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if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
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You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs