The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
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i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
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...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b