Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
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cat food counts as protein by the way
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
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That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.