Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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