margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
