remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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