Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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