we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
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Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
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Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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