i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
