dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
