Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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