4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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