I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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