You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
