Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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