actually, I'm a sock model
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
