soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
