Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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