Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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