we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
