4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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