Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I did not marry a roomba.
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