Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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