okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
