alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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