During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
