i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
