Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.