i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!