he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
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im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
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I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...