I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
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He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
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And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!