Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Yes. For all mankind please do.

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  (512): The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her? (319): Yes. For all mankind please do. http://tfl.nu/4jly
  Replies (49) Good night (4663) Bad night (615)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.

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  (215): Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them. http://tfl.nu/quds
  Replies (19) Good night (5717) Bad night (668)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...

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  (313): is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad... http://tfl.nu/md38
  Replies (26) Good night (518) Bad night (4217) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.

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  (570): Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high. http://tfl.nu/0v2t
  Replies (35) Good night (6571) Bad night (1203) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.

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  (205): I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila. http://tfl.nu/1ja2
  Replies (6) Good night (3037) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.

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  (712): We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this. http://tfl.nu/g847
  Replies (16) Good night (3561) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.

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  (860): It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life. http://tfl.nu/wu6z
  Replies (7) Good night (2853) Bad night (954) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.

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  (617): we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over. http://tfl.nu/igug
  Replies (4) Good night (1782) Bad night (1288) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.

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  (202): incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay. http://tfl.nu/a1k2
  Replies (8) Good night (1451) Bad night (2586) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.

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  (203): Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor. http://tfl.nu/o6bb
  Replies (54) Good night (1734) Bad night (5344) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"

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  (413): I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight" http://tfl.nu/ny0o
  Replies (4) Good night (1353) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.

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  (609): Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams. http://tfl.nu/g3rk
  Replies (2) Good night (883) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.

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  (207): I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom. http://tfl.nu/g4e2
  Replies (6) Good night (717) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.

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  (+44): Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine. http://tfl.nu/vcvu
  Replies (0) Good night (761) Bad night (213) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.

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  (401): i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher. http://tfl.nu/v6bw
  Replies (2) Good night (634) Bad night (170)

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