i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can