just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.