i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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