FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
