I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
