i just sent this text using only my big toe
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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