I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Randomize
