guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The feeling are messing with the penis
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
