I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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