I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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