that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
