i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
