she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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