Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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