I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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