Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This girl is more easily done than said...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
