why didn't you poke me back
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
