whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
