Plan B is the new Plan A
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
