I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
