I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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