so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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