I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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